hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
