girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
