well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
