HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
