Come see our sink grown plant.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
