I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
