Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
