The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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