we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
