he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
These tits shall not be calmed
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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