She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The uberlube is also flammable
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
