I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
