please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
