dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
