My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
