my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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