My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
