I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
