that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
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