....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
