We won't sleep together?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
