mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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