i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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