We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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