i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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