There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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