I feel like I'm in dance class right now
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
