OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
