I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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