Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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