soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
