I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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