the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
