I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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