so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
True strength comes from lack of pants
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
