sarcasm needs its own font
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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