he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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