:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
