If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
