we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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