This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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