Don't make out with my wife yet
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
