She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
