Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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