Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
