You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
