im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
