Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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