Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
