ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
