i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
