I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
