so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
