im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
