I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
