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Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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