No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
