Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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