It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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